I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
