I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
they need to just BURY HIM!
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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