do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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