we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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