i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
