Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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