SEEEEXXX PLEASE
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
