Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize