Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Well I just put wine in my tea
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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