Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
