I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
