You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
