yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
