Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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