Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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