So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
