Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
