He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
