i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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