I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Please don't give away my fajitas
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
