why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
