Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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