bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
did you just send me my own nude
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
