why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
