Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
