taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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