the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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