You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
