I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
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