just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
