I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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