Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot

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(914): View more from New York

I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".

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(209): View more from California

His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.

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(310): View more from California

I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub

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(905): View more from Ontario

I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight

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(407): View more from Florida

I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|

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(509): View more from Washington

I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!

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