If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
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