...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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