How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
