Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
