So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
