Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
