My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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