you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
