OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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