then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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