i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
