drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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