wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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