Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize