she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Randomize
