I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
