I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
