When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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