I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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