OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
