if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I will pee on everything he values.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
