I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I feel like a drive thru vagina
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
