how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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