I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Randomize
