Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
