i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Randomize
