i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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