how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
