I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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