garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
