i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
