Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Randomize
