woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
