they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
