Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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