This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
